(no subject)

[fates_jaye]

"-just stop SINGING!

Hi. This is Jaye. Leave a message, and if I actually give a damn about what you have to say to me, I'll return the call. If not, take the hint, loser.

BEEP.

Comments

[rose-bad-wolf.livejournal.com]

"Hi, Jaye, this is Rose, dunno if you remember this but remember the time you called at four in the morning (http://rose-bad-wolf.livejournal.com/722.html?thread=94930#t94930)? Well, my fairly fantastic phone just allowed the message in. In the afternoon. While I am decidedly *not* fast asleep and so many, many months after you called." No, Rose did not sound at all smug.

Oh look, Jaye's phone might be ringing.

[kawalsky.livejournal.com]

"Jaaaaaye. Jaaaaaaaaaaye." Kawalsky might have been a little drunk. "JAAAAAAAAAAaaaaaaaaaaaaaaayyyyyeee. It's Hockey Man. I think I'm a little drunk and your number was on my phone. Where are you now anyway? I hope it's not Pluto because Pluto's not a planet anymore."

Re: Oh look, Jaye's phone might be ringing.

[fates_jaye]

After hearing the message, Jaye might have been a little sober when she called back. "Pluto?"

[whitedeathpod.livejournal.com]

There's lots of background noise on John's message. People talking, laughing, screaming but luckily, no crying.

"HEY! HEY FRISKY GIRL! I INVITED YOU TO MY WEDDING AND YOU BLEW ME OFF!" Not that John sounded anything but happy. "WHAT HAPPENED? HOT DATE? DID YOU FALL INTO A SOCK COMA? DID A ROAD BARRIER GIVE WAY ON YOU? YOU MISSED MY WEDDING! AERYN SAYS SHE LOVES YOU, BYE."

And then he hung up.

[just-add-starch.livejournal.com]

Fraser, fairly bored on Christmas Eve, picked up the phone and dialed a number that he'd been given but had never used.

"Miss Tyler, yes, this is Constable Fraser. I'm sure you remember me and I do hope you are well," he said. "Anyway, this is just a call to let you know that, after you flashed me so eloquently, I called your sister who, contrary to your radio report, wasn't all that upset about finding out I was seeing someone. She, in turn, gave me the number to your parents and I placed a call to them to relay your exploits to them. Now, I don't know if your mother was crying out of happiness or something else and your father just stuttered constantly but they do know that you are flashing men much older than you so I thought I should call and tell you. Have a pleasant day."

Fraser had never ever called Sharon nor the Tylers.

[carter-i-am.livejournal.com]

"Hey, I'm bored and don't have anything to blow up. Call back if you get a good idea."

"Oh, this is Sam."

[fates_jaye]

And look who was doing just that.

"Have you looked into video games to solve that little explosives problem?"

[multi-madrox.livejournal.com]

To: Jaye
From: Jamie Madrox
Subject: I believe you call him King Dork?

Body:
I prefer to call him Peter Pachyderm.

myroomieisanelephant.zip

Also? Check out the clothes

gigglesnort.zip

Share and Enjoy,

Jamie

[oatmanspatient.livejournal.com]

DOINK! DOINK!

[oatmanspatient.livejournal.com]

There was the brief sound of two Slavic people having sex.

Which was followed by:

DOINK! DOINK!

[oatmanspatient.livejournal.com]

Marty's Voice: "Excuse me, are you familiar with the show, Crime and Punishment? There's this noise that that they use for the transition sequence. How would you describe that noise?"

Slavic Voice #1: "Doink. Doink."

Slavic Voice #2: "Chung! Chung!"

Slavic Voice #1: "Doink! Doink!"

Slavic Voice #2: "Chung! Chung!"

Slavic Voice #1: "Doink! Doink!"

Slavic Voice #2: "Chung! Chung!"

Slavic Voice #1: "Doink! Doink!"

Slavic Voice #2: "Chung! Chung!"

Marty's Voice: "My work here is done."

*click*

[x5-alec.livejournal.com]

"Came back, and you too."

[oatmanspatient.livejournal.com]

"Abby? Sweetheart? Talk into the phone. That's right. Now what do we say when Aunt Kaye leaves us a message?"

"DOINK! DOINK!"

"That's my girl! Now do you want to say anything else?"

What followed was about five minutes of unintelligible babble followed by "Bye-bye!" and a click.

Crazy Phone Day

[zetabetabrat.livejournal.com]

"Yes, hi, doctor, this is Rebecca Logan. I was hoping I could come in later today for the morning-after pill? I know, again, right? Anyway, call me to confirm. Toodles!"

Re: Crazy Phone Day

[fates_jaye]

[here!]

[yakkoyaks.livejournal.com]

This wasn't exactly a voicemail, but Yakko knocked on Jaye's door and ran back to the radio station, leaving a bar of soap wrapped up in very festive wrapping paper with a bow.

...It would make sense if she listened to his broadcast.

[hatesmoststuff.livejournal.com]

would you stop texting me makeout pictures? who takes pictures of themselves making out, anyway? ffs

This text had been meant for April's boyfriends back in Pawnee, not the large number of people in Fandom it made it to. Oops.

Crazy Phone Day(s)!

[nottrivial]

"It's Alec. Is the robot dog going to bite me?"

Alec kept his voicemails short and to-the-point.

Phone Day 2: Phone Harder

[firstnameagent.livejournal.com]

"Buy milk. Bread. A half-pound of turkey. Cereal. You know what, just get everything you need for a giant salad.... And some mini-donuts. Chocolate this time, no second-guessing."

He was just trying to dictate his shopping list on his phone! Oh, Fandom.

Re: Phone Day 2: Phone Harder

[fates_jaye]

[Continued here and here!]

[nookiepowered]

[From here which yes I know but sorry but squirrels.]

"I don't know why you should be thanking me for lack of vomit either, unless this is about my plumbing again. In which case really, what the fuck? Is there a squirrel hiding in my toilet or something?

Great. Now I'm gonna be paranoid all day. Well, if there is, tell it I hope it got bonked on the head when my phone fell in yesterday. It could've at least helped me fish the damn thing out before it got half fried."

Crazy Phone Day(s)

[lockestheway]

[[ from here ]]

Peter felt he was being very succinct in his reply to this person nosing around in his personal life:

No cupcakes, thanks.

[professor-lyman.livejournal.com]

[OOC: from here!]

"Um, my biological dad's been dead for a while, so if he has a new kid, I'm gonna need something slightly stronger than a cupcake date with a student, so, um, thanks?"

[ultimatehottie.livejournal.com]

During Johnny's radio broadcast, he saw a squirrel run to the phone and dial.

"Chitter chitter chittering (http://fandomhigh.livejournal.com/3749165.html?thread=211085613#t211085613)."

[auroryborealis.livejournal.com]

And hey, Jaye, you were getting a text this lovely Friday (at least, Friday in Washington) night!

guess who's coming to my apartment for diiiiiiiiiiiiiiinnnnnnnnneeeeeeeeeeeeeeeerrrrrrr?

Depending on character limits, it actually might have been two texts with all those taunty vowels.

[fates_jaye]

IF IT'S WHO I THINK IT IS, TELL HIM I LOVE HIM

[suitably_heroic]

[[ from here ]]

By now, Atton's tone sounded distinctly whiny.

"Can you please not call me with details about your sex life? Somebody's trying to sleep here."

[sith_happened]

[From here]:

"Obi-Wan, I never ever want to hear about your booty calls. Or you using the word booty in general. Yeesh."

[mother_forker]

In response to the super truant officer's e-mail, Eleanor wrote the following essay:

"I took a nap and then watched people light their farts on fire on youtube. I won't insult your intelligence by drawing that out into 1000 words."

Then boom. Email.

Phone Day!

[hashtag_chocobro]

And Jaye would be receiving a message with a link to a video with giant chicken-like birds racing each other around a track at some point that day, with the following text message:

oh-em-gee why are they so perfect??? we have GOT to go chocobo racing some time, dude, I am in LOVE

Which was definitely supposed to go to his friend Noctis and not Jaye at all, but, well, there you have it!

Re: Phone Day!

[fates_jaye]

[to here]